“Spiritual Enlightenment: The Damnedest Thing” is the first book of Jed McKenna's trilogy. Though Jed McKenna is a fictional character, his teachings offer a vivid perspective on Enlightenment. Several key points from the book profoundly influenced me when I first read it years ago. This article is intended as a summary of the book but also blended with some of my personal insights and realizations that correspond to Jed’s.

As a forewarning, this book is not an easy read. Jed presents an atypical perspective that challenges social norms, moral codes, and common understandings of the self. His viewpoint may seem incompatible with conventional wisdom.

Additionally, Jed's character can come across as arrogant at times. However, if we pause and honestly consider the ideas he conveys, we realize he is telling the truth. Though some of his points may appear extreme and radical, they are not without merit.

Jed’s standpoint is akin to Chan/Zen; he shares insights on awakening and points in a general direction. However, like many Chan/Zen masters who didn’t provide detailed instructions on how to reach the top of the mountain. Nonetheless, the traces and signposts he leaves are tremendously valuable on the spiritual journey.

Enlightenment vs. Mysticism

“Enlightenment and mysticism have little or nothing in common.” Jed McKenna spends considerable time explaining the differences between the two. I didn’t grasp this during my first reading years ago. I didn’t have mystical experiences until a year later while I was reading U.G. Krishnamurti, whom Jed heavily quotes in the second book of the trilogy. Only in recent years, with a deeper understanding of spiritual experiences and comparing my past and present states, have I realized that confusing the two is one of the greatest misunderstandings of Enlightenment.

Spiritual experiences, often called "peak experiences," are profoundly healing and transformative. Mysticism, spiritual experiences, or mystical, religious, and transcendental experiences all describe the same phenomena: feelings of unity, euphoria, no-self, void, emptiness, bliss, and love. These experiences typically occur when the brain is in an altered state of consciousness, similar to being in a dream or deep meditation. “Altered states,” as Jed puts it, are not so different from being in a blinding rage or head-over-heels in love. Reflecting on these states from your normal consciousness makes them seem like the experiences of a different person.

Unlike spiritual experiences, Enlightenment is not a flashy event. It may occur as an epiphany, as the tipping point, the gradual crumbling of the old self, and followed by a paradigm shift. Spiritual experiences, on the other hand, are nonetheless wonderful yet temporary experiences. Spiritual experience and mysticism have nothing to do with Enlightenment, which is in a permanent state. The most noticeable difference is that spiritual experiences offer you profound insights, but you continue operating as before. In contrast, Enlightenment is like bending a twig until it reaches a tipping point, and then it snaps—old patterns break and fall away.

Oddly enough, one might not immediately recognize they are awakened, as the initial experience is similar to a spiritual experience. It takes time, perhaps months or years, for the full impact to reveal itself. As Jed says, “Getting the hang of this new state would take me another decade.” An accelerated process still takes a few months to notice the drastic differences and a few years to understand what it entails. Enlightenment is not a fleeting state of consciousness but a permanent truth-realization and abiding non-dual awareness. If someone claims to become enlightened instantly or multiple times, they are referring to spiritual experiences.

The following is Jed’s description of the mystical experience, but it also complies with the common experiences of others: “It is an ecstatic state, characterized by the loss of boundaries between the subject and the objective world, with ensuing feelings of unity with other people, nature, the entire Universe, and God. In most instances this experience is contentless and is accompanied by visions of brilliant white or golden light, rainbow spectra or elaborate designs resembling peacock feathers. It can, however, be associated with archetypal figurative visions of deities or divine personages from various cultural frameworks. LSD subjects give various descriptions of this condition, based on their educational background and intellectual orientation. They speak about cosmic unity, unio mystica, mysterium tremendum, cosmic consciousness, union with God, Atman-Brahman union, Samadhi, satori, moksha, or the harmony of the spheres.”

Various methods can induce altered states of consciousness, including psychedelic substances like LSD, magic mushrooms, Ayahuasca, meditation, or even rapid breathwork. Rare occurrences like near-death experiences or strokes can also lead to spiritual experiences, as described by neuroscientist Jill Taylor when she had a stroke on the right hemisphere of the brain.

“Drugs, breathwork, meditation, and other things can alter your state of consciousness, but self-realization—truth-realization—isn’t a state of consciousness. If anything, it is consciousness without statehood.”

Awakening is a permanent paradigm shift, not a transient event.

Spiritual experiences are incredibly insightful but could also usher us to the wrong path. We might mistakenly equate “no-self,” “no-mind,” or “no-thoughts” with awakening. This particular misconception misleads seekers into meditation practice focusing on silencing the thoughts or beliefs through years of deprivation; they’ll able to relinquish all material or sensational desires and achieve Buddhahood. We will elaborate on these topics in another article, but for now, let’s move on to the topic of waking up.

Waking up from the Dreamstate

Enlightenment is not mysterious; it is waking up to our true self. Yet, the paradox is that there is no "true self," because the self exists only in the dream state, which is an illusion. Thus, the self is also an illusion. 

“There’s no comprehending the vastness and complexity of the influences that go into creating the false self—a redundant term”.

“You’re enlightened but you obviously have an ego. Isn’t that a contradiction? Doesn’t the ego have to be annihilated to achieve nirvana?”

Before enlightenment I believed my ego was me, then enlightenment came along, and no more ego, only the underlying reality. Now it’s after enlightenment and this ego might be slightly uncomfortable or ill-fitting at times, but it’s all I’ve got.”

If you’re familiar with concepts like Maya, Atman, Brahman, Buddhism’s teachings, or contemporary scientific theories about consciousness, free will, or reality, you likely grasp the idea of illusion. Seeing the world as an illusion or a dream state will overturn your perspective of the so-called reality. Take a closer look at things we take for granted and reexamine all the assumptions.

“Right action has nothing to do with right or wrong, good or evil, naughty or nice. It is without altruism or compassion. Morality is the set of rules and regulations that you use to navigate through life when you’re still trying to steer your ship rather than let it follow the flow.”

“The truth, though, is that nothing is really wrong. Nothing is ever wrong, and nothing can be wrong. It’s not even wrong to believe that something is wrong. Wrong is simply not possible.”

This idea is difficult to process. How could nothing be wrong in a world loaded with war, murder, fraud, and discrimination? But Jed is talking about the dream state. Without a doubt, the world is full of miseries, yet there is nothing wrong with the dream state, Maya’s amusement park, which is a grand and majestic illusion. It’s just like there’s nothing wrong with a movie or a theme park. Just like a movie, if you flatten out the plot, it becomes uninteresting. Without the drama, everyone would soon walk out of the theater and become enlightened.

“The enlightened view life as a dream, so how could they possibly differentiate between right and wrong or good and evil? How can one turn of events be better or worse than another? Of what real importance is anything in a dream? You wake up and the dream is gone as if it never was. All the characters and events that seemed so real have simply vanished. The enlightened may walk and talk in the dreamworld, but they don’t mistake the dream for reality.”

We tend to equate enlightenment with divinity, love, compassion, and higher beings. “Everybody wants the radiance and the bliss and the union with the divine, and everyone seems to believe that spiritual enlightenment is the name for it when you have dipped yourself into the divine so many times that it has permanently altered your spiritual hue.”

We might choose beliefs that suit us and make us comfortable. However, if beliefs deviate from the truth, we project illusion and dwell inside our false reality. “A god of love and goodness would be merely a single aspect of a god who is defined as absolute.” The creator of this Universe does not discriminate among creations; thus, the Tao says, “Heaven and earth are not ren (compassionate or altruistic)—they treat the things of the world as straw dogs” – Dao de Jing (天地不仁，以萬物為芻狗). The Universe is not concerned with good and bad, kind and evil. Dualistic attributes are elemental attributes and building blocks to everything.

“It’s one of those things you can’t understand until you have the direct experience of it. Love as we know it is like a shadow of agapè; like the candlelight flickering on the wall and not the flame itself. It’s a very different thing at its source, but love is the closest representation of agapè available, so that’s what it gets translated as. Right action is the same deal. Morality is a just a shadow of right action. Right action isn’t the highest degree of morality any more than agapè is the highest degree of love. When you understand and are able to act from right action, morality is no longer necessary; it’s instantly obsolete and discarded. This is at the heart of the Bhagavad Gita. Arjuna, as a moral creature, throws down his weapon and refuses to launch a war. Krishna converts him to a creature of right action by freeing him from delusion and Arjuna takes up his weapon and launches the war.”

Love, kindness, and compassion are great for the world, but they are attributes of the dream and illusion. Jed clarifies, “This book isn’t about the evolution of the soul or the relationship between higher and lower self, it’s about abiding non-dual awareness—spiritual enlightenment.”

“The most common, widely-held fantasy about enlightenment is that it is freedom from suffering, the transcendence of pain and struggle, the land of milk and honey, a state of perpetual love, bliss, and peace. Enlightenment represents the collectively-shared dream of an idealized and perfect world of pure beauty and joy. It is not only New Age fantasy, it is the secret wish of all people. It is our shared dream of salvation. But it is only a fantasy.”

It's wonderful to become a kind and better person and help others to make the world a better place, but that has nothing to do with waking up. “Enlightenment is about truth. It’s not about becoming a better or happier person. It’s not about personal growth or spiritual evolution.”

“Waking up is job one, and then, if you still want to liberate all beings or promote world peace or save the whales, great—lucky beings, lucky world, lucky whales—but the bottom line remains the same: You’re either awake, or you’re not.”

“It is a path without heart, devoid of compassion, totally free of any thought for others whatsoever. The thinking is simple: Wake up first. Wake up, and then you can double back and perhaps be of some use to others if you still have the urge. Wake up first, with pure and unapologetic selfishness, or you’re just another shipwreck victim floundering in the ocean and all the compassion in the world is of absolutely no use to the other victims floundering around you. Resolve your own situation first, and then maybe your compassion will translate into something of value to others.” 

Wake up first. Otherwise, the things we do might be the very things that keep us in the midst of illusion. Worse, as Zen says, “The blind leading the blind leads each other into the fire pit.”

About Chan/Zen

Zen is the Japanese pronunciation of the Chinese word "Chan" (禪), which originates from the Sanskrit term “dhyāna.” Jed McKenna elaborates on the dramatic differences between genuine Zen and the popularized version sold to the masses: “In Zen, no one is interested in spiritual growth. No one is interested in self-exploration or self-realization. They’re not trying to become better people or happier people. They’re not following a spiritual path, they’re following a wake-the-hell-up path. They’re completely focused on the hot and narrow pursuit of enlightenment. There’s no consolation prize, no secondary objective. Full awakening is what they signed up for.”

This is evident in the words of Chan master Wumen Huikai (無門慧開): “He might feel that he has vomited a gigantic ball of molten lead that has resided in his chest for years.” – Gateless Gate (無門關).  In Jed’s words, “Real Zen is about the hot and narrow pursuit of enlightenment; the shortest distance between asleep and awake. No rules, no ceremonies, no teachings, just the muddy, bloody battle of waking up.”

“Enlightenment isn’t in the character, it’s in the underlying truth. Now, there’s nothing wrong with being a dream character, of course, unless it’s your goal to wake up, in which case the dream character must be ruthlessly annihilated. If your desire is to experience transcendental bliss or supreme love or altered states of consciousness or awakened kundalini, or to qualify for heaven, or to liberate all sentient beings, or simply to become the best dang person you can be, then rejoice!, you’re in the right place; the dream state, the dualistic universe.”

When reaching the state of awakening, there are subtle but unmistakable signs. Jed’s descriptions align with U.G. Krishnamurti and Chan teachings of Bodhidharma (達摩) and the Sixth Patriarch Huineng (惠能). Through personal experience, I found similar conclusions: “That’s how it is when you get here; no bells and whistles, no radiant backlighting, no choirs of angels.” and “You’ve spent a few years fighting battle after battle, each more grueling than the one before, and never, never, with any expectation whatsoever that you’ll ever really emerge victorious in this life. And then, one day, there it is. Nothing. No more enemies, no more battles. The sword that seems welded to your hand can now be dropped, once your fingers can be pried from it. There’s nothing left to contend against and nothing left that must be done, and there will never be anything that must be done ever again. Even then, it’s very possible that you don’t know what you are or where you are. It’s just over, and nothing comes along to replace it. In novels you see freshly converted vampires wondering what their new status entails.”

“That’s where I am now. Empty space is my reality. The void. No-self. I abide in non-dual, non-relative awareness. This is the part that can’t be explained. I can’t frame it in words even for myself. No one can say “I am enlightened” because there is no “I” to it. There is no such thing as an enlightened person. The person writing these words, the person who speaks to the students, isn’t the enlightened one. My personality, my ego, what appears to be me, is just an afterimage; a physical apparition based on residual energy patterns. Jed McKenna is like the outfit an invisible man wears so that he can interact with people without freaking them out.”

No one can say “I am enlightened” because the “I” or “self” doesn’t get enlightened. “I” or “self” is an illusion that only dwells in the dream state. Also, the state of enlightenment is just your original nature. Thus, Buddhism called it the “Buddha nature.” U.G. Krishnamurti uses the more accurate term “the natural state” instead of Enlightenment, emphasizing a return to one’s innate nature rather than achieving something external. “Searching for enlightenment is like fish in the ocean struggling to find water.” The Zen analogy is “dispel the cloud then see the sun” (撥雲見日)—the sun is always there, but the thick and dark cloud blocks the sunlight. It’s about removing false obstructions to uncover the truth, whether beliefs, self-framework, or false assumptions. 

To clarify “self” and “no-self”: “no-self” is viewing from outside the dream state. You acknowledge the ultimate reality, and outside of the illusion, there’s no self. However, you are a human with a body and brain and living in the dreamstate. The self, you, the body, and the world are inseparable; therefore, you cannot completely discard the “self.” As long as you live in this physical world or the Universe, you are bound to subjective consciousness and awareness called “I” or “me,” with humanistic characteristics, like wearing clothes and shoes, but you are no longer fooled by them. Without consciousness and awareness, by definition, you do not exist. 

Therefore, waking up is a great paradox because “the fundamental conflict in the spiritual quest is that ego desires spiritual enlightenment, but ego can never achieve spiritual enlightenment. Self cannot achieve no-self. That’s why anyone who wants to sell enlightenment must first reduce it to more manageable proportions; to something ego can achieve.” However, this is merely self-deception, feeding the ego instead of annihilating it.

Making matters more complex, “paradox of the desire to be desireless being itself a desire, and that whole tail-chase.” “The ‘I’ casts off the illusion of ‘I’ and yet remains as ‘I’. Such is the paradox of Self-realization. The realized do not see any contradiction in it.”

People claim Chan and Buddhism are the same, aka Zen Buddhism, but here’s a brief statement by Jed that resonates with me. He is being sarcastic as usual, but turns out to be true, “I’ve never really understood Buddhism conceptually. I understand Zen perfectly—at least my own highly distilled version of it—but, strange as it may sound, I’ve never really made the connection between Zen and Buddhism. For one thing, I never figured out how desire got to be the bad guy and compassion became the good guy.”

Chan and Buddhism stand on different foundations. One is Enlightenment, the other mysticism. “Non-attachment isn’t a key to liberation, it’s a byproduct.” Buddhism talks about quieting the mind and relinquishing attachments, but Chan focuses on cutting through bullshit and falsities, awakening from Maya’s fantasy.

Awakening isn’t about quieting the mind for its own sake. As Jed entertains his situation, “But I digress. That’s where my mind really goes when I wash the dishes. Not no-mind, monkey mind. If I were one of those revered Japanese masters I’d probably make myself slave in the kitchen for ten years without ever speaking to me.”

Yet, everything mentioned above is still conceptual or metaphysical knowledge. To wake up, we must push the self into the operating room and undergo spiritual autolysis, removing all falsities and impurities.

First Step and Spiritual Autolysis

“The process of Spiritual Autolysis is basically like a Zen koan on steroids. All you really have to do is write the truth.” “Write the truth?” “Sounds simple, doesn’t it? Yes, that’s all there is to it. Just write down what you know is true, or what you think is true, and keep writing until you’ve come up with something that is true.”

A student asked Jed about the autolysis:

“Oh. Is this like journaling? Like keeping a diary?” “Ah, good question. No. This isn’t about personal awareness or self-exploration. It’s not about feelings or insights. It’s not about personal or spiritual evolution. This is about what you know for sure, about what you are sure you know is true, about what you are that is true. With this process, you tear away layer after layer of untruth masquerading as truth. Anytime you go back to read something you wrote, even if it was only yesterday, you should be surprised by how far you’ve come since then. It’s actually a painful and vicious process, somewhat akin to self-mutilation. It creates wounds that will never heal and burns bridges that can never be rebuilt and the only real reason to do it is because you can no longer stand not to.”

“Writing it out allows you to act as your own teacher, your own critic, your own opponent. By externalizing your thoughts, you can become your own guru; judging yourself, giving feedback, providing a more objective and elevated perspective.”

while you’re in this process of self-digestion you’re going to develop a voracious appetite for all sorts of knowledge; religious, esoteric, metaphysical, spiritual, New Age, Eastern and Western philosophy, all that and more. You’ll be relying on the knowledge and experience of men and women from throughout history without regard to race or nationality, but your search will take you far beyond human intelligence.

“Don’t worry about the answer, just get the question right. Examine your assumptions.” Soon enough the question itself has been destroyed and, along with it, many layers of delusion.

However, it’s not an easy process, after all, you’re dissecting yourself and cutting away all the pieces that were part of you, part of the so-called self that you closely associated and identified with. “Intellect is used as the sword with which ego commits a slow and agonizing suicide; the death of a thousand cuts.”

As Jed accurately puts it, “Awakening is the process of deprogramming. Enlightenment is the unprogrammed state.” Our brain resembles a computer with wired neurological circuits as hardware and built-in algorithms as software dictating how we think or behave. Therefore, we reverse engineer and hack the system, scrutinizing and questioning every assumption we took for granted.

“You define yourself is how you create your false-self. Your career, obviously, gives you a framework and structure for who you are and what you do and why. Family is a big one, or a lot of big ones as one fulfills different roles for different people; mother, daughter, sister, wife, aunt, and so forth. Other relationships. Community; nationality and racial identity; gender, of course. Status as a financial entity. Church membership. Physical condition and appearance. Education, politics, hobbies, beliefs, opinions, thoughts, feelings, everything.”

Through the process of abdication, “what is left when all context is dropped? What is left when you remove church, job, relationships, hobbies, and everything else? More layers? Nature? Nurture? Perinatal influences? Past life influences? Okay, but what’s beyond those? That’s the process, stripping away layer after layer, like an onion, until all that’s left is…”

Factors like genetics, upbringing, culture, society, and personal experience dictate who we are, leaving us less free than we thought. Are your personality or temperament really yours? Is it your choice to ruminate or suffer from depression? Whose emotions or thoughts are these if you have no control over them?

To wake up, dive into these questions relentlessly, continuously digging to find the truth buried beneath. “Spiritual awakening is about discovering what’s true. Anything that’s not about getting to the truth must be discarded.” and “The most useful piece of learning for the uses of life is to unlearn what is untrue.”

“A student goes to his teacher and asks ‘What does the world rest upon, master?’ To which the teacher replies ‘On the back of a giant turtle.’ The student, not to be so easily put off, asks ‘And what does the turtle rest upon, oh wise one?’ To which the teacher replies, ‘Upon another turtle.’ The student is not ready to give up. ‘And what does that turtle rest on?’ he asks, to which the master angrily replies, ‘Don’t you get it? It’s turtles all the way down!’”

Once you start examining every step of logical reasoning, checking every turtle and assumption, and removing all falsity, you walk out to the other end, awakened. “you go through a process of radical deconstruction of your character to see what’s left when it’s gone. The result isn’t enlightened-self or true-self, it’s no-self.”

This process is very challenging because it defies common knowledge. “Their beliefs are securely in place. No one approaches me and asks to have their hard-won beliefs demolished. They come to build upon what they already have and to continue along the course they’ve already begun. Demolition, though, is exactly what they need. If, that is, they want to wake up.”

Awakening is about deprogramming and unlearning, not accumulating knowledge. The goal is to wake up, not earn a Ph.D. in waking up. “Truth isn’t about knowing things; you already know too much. It’s about unknowing. It’s not about becoming true, it’s about unbecoming false so that all that’s left is truth. If you want to become a priest or a lama or a rabbi or a theologian, then there’s a lot to learn; enough to fill a lifetime and more. But if you want to figure out what’s true, then it’s a whole different process and the last thing you need is more knowledge.”

“Self-realization isn’t about more, it’s about less. The only construction required for awakening is that which facilitates demolition.” Demolishing false constructs and beliefs frees you from the self-framework.

Conceptually, it’s not hard to understand letting go of falsity, but it’s easier said than done. “The price of truth is everything, but no one knows what everything means until they’re paying it.” Yet, everything doesn’t mean living in the mountains and practicing minimalism but relinquishing the false ideas and beliefs that confine us to the dream state. One could have little to no personal belonging but hoarding false beliefs and projecting false reality. 

“The fear of no-self is the mother of all fears, the one upon which all others are based. No fear is so small or petty that the fear of no-self isn’t at its heart. All fear is ultimately fear of no-self.” As an instinct, we cling to our knowledge and beliefs to save ourselves from total self-destruction. 

“Fear of the unknown is what keeps everyone busily treading water. All fear is fear of the unknown.” We are too afraid to let go of our beliefs and what we are accustomed to. We want to be in control, make decisions, and determine our fate. Yet, awakening is a form of self-destruction, pronouncing death to the ego, but on a metaphysical level, so no bodily injury is involved. 

We are often imprisoned by our views. Therefore, learn to surrender, listen, and let go of the firm grip. We build knowledge upon knowledge, experience upon experience, cherry-picking whatever suits us and satisfies our realm of knowledge and experience. “Students, quite naturally, think that it’s important to understand. They think that it’s vital that their information be correct and precise. They think that this is like school where you have to understand one thing before you can understand the next thing. But all that is about knowing and this is about unknowing. All this so-called knowledge is exactly what stands between the seeker and the sought.”

“He (Martin) may feel the urge to describe his current position to me in exhaustive detail, but I already know all I need to guide him out. Martin may want to spend the next twenty years studying the local flora, but I will encourage him to pull out a machete and hack his way out and continue his journey.”

“I immediately know we’re banging our heads up against his dogged reliance on outside authority. “I think that what he means is…” I interrupt. “Why does it matter what he means, Martin?” He stares at me with his mouth slightly open. “It’s your head on the block, Martin, it’s your clock that’s ticking.” I try a different approach. “What’s your mission statement, Martin? What’s the point? What is it you hope to accomplish with your life?”

“what if you found out that in order to achieve the enlightenment you speak of, you had to reject all the teachings you’ve ever received. Could you abandon all this knowledge you’ve acquired?” “Well, I don’t really think…” “What’s your priority? Enlightenment or the knowledge?”

Waking up is a solo journey that is independent of outside authority. “In the process of waking yourself up, you quickly realize that there’s no outside authority. You have to verify everything yourself. If you adopt something someone else said, it’s only after you have verified it for yourself.”

This statement might irritate many who believe all roads lead to Rome, just different paths to the mountaintop, but realistically, the majority do not. “you could say that all the major religions and great spiritual teachings have the same truth at their core, but realistically, that does not make them useful to someone who is seeking to awaken because the useful stuff is tangled up with too much useless stuff. They say that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually produce the complete works of Shakespeare, but I don’t want to be the guy who has to read through it all.”

Reasoning is crucial to awakening, but we’re often confined by our reasoning framework. Cultural norms or upbringing produce particular ways of thinking, boxing us into specific frameworks. Breaking away relies on reasoning and surrendering to the unknown. It is a dilemma since reasoning might be in conflict with surrendering. However, it is not asking you to surrender logical reasoning, but first let go of what we thought was “right.” Like open-minded people who suspend their opinions and listen to others’ perspectives. Try something new, like a scientific experiment; if it doesn’t work, you can always return to where you were. 

“If I were some revered master in Japan, Chris is one of those guys who would slave in the kitchen for ten years without ever speaking with me. If I taught with results in mind, Chris would never even be allowed to open a book or converse on spiritual matters until we pried his hands off the tiller. Rigid ego can scuttle the ship before it gets clear of the harbor. I’ve watched much smarter people than myself, much braver people than myself, break their ships fatally on the rocks because they were too full of themselves to release control. This stuff isn’t about brains and balls, it’s about desire and flow and purity of intent. And surrender.”

Too many people are trapped in their framework, not because they’re not intellectual but because they are unwilling to step out of their frameworks and take a step further to explore the possibilities.