7 Common Spiritual Pitfalls: What’s Holding You Back from Awakening?
Here are some common pitfalls that prevent us from awakening to our true nature and returning to our natural state.
Pitfall #1: Dualistic thinking
A simple dualistic view is characterized by black-and-white thinking, a dogmatic notion of good and evil, or the classic narrative of good versus evil. Most of us have the intellectual capacity beyond overly simplistic dualistic views. However, we may be ensnared by subtle forms of duality. For instance, we might strive to be a "good" person, cultivating "good" morality or "higher" virtues. But what does it mean to be a "good person"?
The definition of "good" varies from person to person and from society to society. Clinging to specific definitions can lead to conflict when your values differ from social expectations or when your definitions clash with those of others. You might believe certain actions are good and others are bad: spirituality is good, materialism is bad; adopting pets is good, buying pets from breeders is bad; a good man must do this, and a good woman must do that. In these scenarios, we fall into the trap of dualistic thinking.
However, breaking free from dualistic beliefs is challenging because we have preconceived notions in mind and already draw a line between right and wrong. We’re trapped by our own definitions: "If I don’t do this, I must be a bad person." A strong sense of guilt, unease, or disgust arises when we fail to adhere to these definitions.
Non-dual doesn’t mean having no preferences or making no distinctions between good and evil. However, instead of living with rigid opinions about right and wrong, let things flow naturally and observe the effects. Values are often self-projected; if left unexamined, they gradually solidify into beliefs, become doctrines, and eventually evolve into religions.
Pitfall #2: Beliefs and Self-Projection
Many self-imposed beliefs stem from dualistic thinking, leading us to chase after what we perceive as "good"— whether it’s money, status, or spiritual enlightenment. The issue isn't with abundant wealth or respect through status, as they can enrich life. The problem arises when we pursue those goals based on self-imposed ideologies, driven by the belief that "we must, or else." Instead of facing reality, we often become entangled in fantasies.
For instance, we might create a checklist for achieving enlightenment—practicing charity, chanting mantra, visualizing mandala, compassion, or renouncing all desires—believing these actions will achieve awakening, yet has anyone actually reached awakening through those methods? In fact, these efforts can be counterproductive, turning into obstacles that block the path to awakening.
This leads to believing that acting "good" curates a persona of a compassionate "good person" or exudes a "spiritual" vibe. That is no different from indulging in materialism—all basically chasing after self-projected beliefs.
Thus, surrendering is a key part of healing and awakening. Surrendering is letting go of beliefs that we hold dearly in order to break free from frameworks that restrain us from seeing the true reality. Surrender, so we are able to quiet our personal opinions and listen wholeheartedly. However, it does not ask you to abandon logical reasoning. We often go on either using too much brain, without perceiving with our heart, or too little reasoning and solely believing in our unexamined “intuition.”
Awakening is disillusionment to see the reality. As you gradually remove the cloak that obstructs your true nature. You’ll begin to realize that everything is interconnected and inseparable. Thus, empathy begins to develop. While you may still get irritated by others, you’ll realize the irritation inevitably disrupts your own inner peace, and this awareness naturally fosters a deep sense of compassion.
Pitfall #3: Ego elimination
Contrary to conventional beliefs, awakening is not about achieving a “higher self” or eliminating the ego. The concept of ego serves as a convenient means to help us comprehend human thinking and behavioral patterns. It encourages us to let go of rigid and self-centered opinions.
However, the ego is often associated with negative notions—insanity, greed, emotional instability, possessiveness, selfishness, or the pursuit of sensual pleasures—consequently, it is condemned as the root of all problems. This leads to the idea that if the ego or “lower self” is in charge, it will ruin everything. The ego is thus treated as a demonic entity that must be crushed and demolished and begin to idolize the “higher self” or “divine spirit.”
It’s easy to fall into the trap of blaming the ego for everything and glorifying the “higher self.” Yet, this behavior is the ego in action, keeping us in a state of self-division instead of returning to wholeness and oneness. If you try eliminating the ego, you create a division within yourself. Who, then, is going to destroy whom? The idea of egolessness is indeed a fantasy created by ego.
Instead of playing the blaming game on the ego or finding a scapegoat, let’s take a different approach. The ego is simply a representation of undesirable characteristics; it is not a separate entity from ourselves. So, we focus on deprogramming or unconditioning specific traits. For example, if we don’t like feeling envious, we investigate the root cause of that envy—perhaps a lack of confidence. Then, we continue looking deeper to find the reason behind it.
To heal, we must let go of the notion that the ego is an enemy and end the self-division. Just as we don't view headaches or allergic reactions as enemies but rather as undesirable symptoms to be addressed. Troubling feelings like selfishness, hatred, or anger should be approached in the same way - they are allies to help us heal.
Pitfall #4: Looking outward
We’re often preoccupied with practices of outward focus rather than inward looking. It’s a paradox: we are lost, lacking direction, method, or ideas, and thus seek outside authorities' guidance. At the same time, being overly reliant on outside authorities means we lose the ability to think independently and critically, which risks surrendering to the wrong influences.
If we look outward, we can easily fall into the trap of chasing self-projected fantasies or external validations. Therefore, we must be extra cautious about what we seek. First and foremost, what exactly are you looking for? What do you want to achieve?
Are you looking for bliss, happiness, or ecstasy? While there is nothing inherently wrong with these, they are sensual experiences; they have nothing to do with truth realization. This sort of experience is often found in practices like tantra or similar.
Are you looking to become a scholar of the scripture or deepen your spiritual practices? Dedicating years to studying and practicing might earn you a mystic or guru status. Many know the scriptures back to back. However, it is merely an accumulation of metaphysical knowledge. Studying a great deal of business case studies enriches your business knowledge, but it doesn’t guarantee you the capability to run a real business.
Are you drawn into an Enlightenment or “go-to-heaven” package? Want to become a spiritual person and do good? In this case, following a set of doctrines would keep you accountable person and maintain faith to help you stay on track. However, being a good person doesn’t necessarily mean one is disillusioned or awakened.
Gain psychic power? In Buddhism, awakening is sometimes mistakenly equated with the development of psychic abilities, as mentioned in various sutras. However, awakening has nothing to do with such powers. While these abilities may arise as a byproduct of awakening, they are not its essence. Many people are born with psychic talents without any spiritual practice, showing that these abilities are not inherently linked to the process of awakening.
Many spiritual practices can help you feel better and expand your knowledge, but they don’t necessarily resolve the root cause or lead to awakening. Awakening is about turning inward and dismantling the framework of the self rather than temporarily smoothing pain. It involves peeling off the layers of false beliefs and assumptions to see the true reality.
For example, mindfulness meditation is a valuable tool for achieving calmness, clearing the mind, and cultivating awareness. However, awareness doesn't mean addressing the root causes. To resolve inner conflicts, a process of self-analysis and honest introspection is required.
We often practice diligently, yet without realizing it, we may be avoiding the real issues through hard work—this is known as "spiritual bypassing." Instead of addressing the core problems, such as internal conflicts, pain, or trauma, we tend to deny or suppress difficult emotions with statements like, "Everything is fine" or "It's all in the past." We create the illusion to avoid uncomfortable truths, pretending everything is resolved.
We may immerse ourselves in spiritual practices, rituals, charity work, meditation, yoga, or positive affirmations, mistakenly believing we are making meaningful progress. By keeping ourselves busy, we may be without realizing that we’re suppressing or dismissing deeply buried emotions. This distraction from emotional healing prevents us from doing the real work of resolving the root causes of our troubles.
As the Chan Patriarch Bodhidharma said in The Bloodstream Treatise (達摩血脈論)
Those who follow deviated paths fail to grasp the true meaning of Budda, yet they exert tremendous effort in their practices. They stray from the teachings of the sages by spending their days chanting the Buddha’s name and reciting scriptures. They remain obscured from their true nature, thus unable to escape reincarnation.
Pitfall #5: Thinking too much, perceiving too little
If we rely solely on the brain, we speak only from the head, not the heart. In doing so, we become overly dependent on others’ words, merely copying ideas instead of exploring our own. Many take teachings from scriptures or spiritual figures without actually experimenting themselves, which leads to metaphysical speculation rather than genuine understanding.
It is only by putting theory into practice that we can testify if certain practices are effective or not. Some may possess vast knowledge of scriptures and speak fluently about spiritual concepts or histories yet remain distant from awakening. They focus on accumulating knowledge rather than dismantling illusions, piling on complexity instead of reducing it to simplicity.
Awakening is about returning to your natural state, much like purifying water by removing impurities to reveal its original clarity. While knowledge is essential for understanding the reality we live in and for self-reflection, the mere accumulation of knowledge does not clear away the impurities clouding our true nature—in fact, it can sometimes hinder progress. Those who rely solely on intellect, without engaging their heart, tend to accumulate knowledge and speak or even debate about awakening on a conceptual or metaphysical level without having experienced it firsthand. It’s like describing the path to the mountain's summit without ever having set foot there.
This often due to the disconnection between the mind and body often leads to an imbalance, where the brain operates in isolation, unaware of the body's subtle sensations and emotional signals. For example, someone may be unable to distinguish the nuances of their emotions, experiencing only a narrow range of feelings rather than the full spectrum. As a result, they may convince themselves that "everything is fine" without realizing the toll that mental strain is taking on their physical health.
Thus, the mind-body connection is crucial. It enhances sensitivity in perception and intuition, and deepens the healing process. This connection can be strengthened through meditation, focused relaxation, and Qi/Energy work, helping to align the mind and body and bring us closer to our natural state of balance and clarity.
Pitfall #6: Mistaken spiritual experience as Enlightenment
There’s no instant awakening. It’s the culmination of a long, agonizing, self-dismantling journey that leads to the final breakthrough. When Chan says “sudden awakening” (頓悟) in a single moment of awakening. It refers to that pivotal moment when the framework of the self collapses—the last straw broke the camel’s back.
Many people get confused about the “peak experiences” or “spiritual experiences” experienced as awakening. Deep meditation, altered state of consciousness, or under the influence of psychedelics could produce profound transformational experiences and transcendence of one’s reality, whether unity, oneness, being in the present, or others. Yet, these fleeting experiences are no different from eating ice cream or having sex. The momentary experience faded away over time and became a distant memory. It didn’t fundamentally change how we operate. Once out of the meditative state, the brains slowly revert to its usual patterns - mind OS 1.0. On the contrary, the state of awakening is permanent, a paradigm shift.
Pitfall #7: Believe must relinquish all desires
You don’t need to relinquish all desires to be awakened. Awakening is not about abandoning the things or feelings we care about. It’s not the desire itself that binds us. There’s nothing wrong with enjoying a fulfilling and quality life. The issue arises when we cling to desires and false beliefs—such as, “I must have this, or I won’t be happy.” It’s the attachment to these desires that causes suffering, not the desires themselves.
Consider this scenario: After a joyful day at the amusement park, as the sun sets, a child refuses to leave, crying loudly, tears bursting, and desperately clinging to the exit door, unwilling to leave—this is attachment.
In contrast, consider you as an adult who also had an incredible day at the amusement park. As the park is closing, you feel a touch of melancholy but understand it's time to leave. Appreciate the wonderful memories and walk toward the exit—this is non-attachment—enjoying life fully but are not bound by it.
Now, some believe non-detachment, practicing celibacy, and avoiding pleasures altogether is the path to enlightenment. Therefore, they walk into the amusement park, watching others laugh and having fun, but they can’t enjoy the experience. This could be another form of attachment — attachment to the belief that they must abstain from joy, pleasure, and desires, which will lead to spiritual freedom.
Life itself is like an amusement park. The key is to engage with life, enjoy the experiences, and flow with it naturally. When the time comes, say goodbye and depart gracefully, grateful for the journey and its offerings. Non-attachment doesn't mean rejecting life; it means living fully while understanding that life is nothing but a dream.
Awakening is about embracing life in its totality, but recognizing its delusive nature and being able to release the grip to free from Maya’s traps.