Framework of Self — A dust bunny
Who are you? What are you? Before you were born, where were you? Do you truly understand yourself? You might think, "Of course I do! I've grown up with this body and mind, so there's no doubt I am familiar with myself."
Yet, being so close to ourselves, we are nearly blind to our true nature. Consider the HBO TV series Westworld, where android hosts are pre-programmed with specific personalities, physiques, and storylines. These hosts are unaware of their identities, reacting to circumstances with pre-determined emotional responses and behavioral patterns. They play their roles day after day without questioning their actions, trapped in a specific framework of thinking.
Similarly, the "self" we are familiar with appears real but is like a dust bunny—a compilation of various elements. As we roll through the dusty course of our lives, we collect strands of knowledge, fragments of memories, beliefs, habits, values, and other features. If you disassemble and pull apart the dust bunny, you realize it contains nothing but a collection of various types of dust. Yet, we mistakenly take this collection as our identity, calling it the "self" or "framework of self."
We didn’t come into this world as blank slates; we arrived preloaded with innate traits and genetic predispositions. Have you noticed surprising similarities with your parents or close relatives in how you carry yourself, speak, walk, mannerisms, personality, or food preferences?
Our human brain and body determine how we operate. Congenital biological mechanisms drive behaviors like eating when hungry, sleeping when tired, and seeking pleasure. These traits are encoded in the long strings of double helix molecules in every cell of our body.
Much like personalities, many of our values and beliefs are not entirely our own but learned or inherited. We are products of our time, nurtured by the land and soil. We inherit history passed down from one generation to the next. From the moment we are born, we absorb knowledge, values, moral codes, cultural traditions, rituals, dietary preferences, family dynamics, beliefs, social etiquette, and modes of thinking. We are born into a specific culture or country and learn to identify ourselves with that particular race or culture. We adopt romantic or pragmatic philosophies, and along with personal experiences, memories, and habits, these elements gradually build the unique self that you are today. However, is that really who you are? Is it really your true nature?
If we closely reexamine our personal beliefs and assumptions, we are likely to find that many concepts were taught and instilled, not necessarily objectively true. By recognizing this, we can begin to understand the influences that have shaped us and potentially reshape our beliefs and behaviors based on a more conscious understanding of ourselves.
How much volition do you really have? Can you simply flip a switch to shut off anxiety or decide whether you want to be an extrovert or an introvert? While we might be able to boost our IQ by a few points or improve sports skills with more practice at an early age, but achieving the genius of Albert Einstein or the athletic prowess of Michael Jordan is too much of a stretch for most of us. At least, I’m certain it’s beyond my reach. Despite my lifelong love of science and studied electrical engineering, I can’t match the accomplishments of many of my classmates in the field.
In reality, if you examine it closely, you’ll realize that we humans have very limited freedom of choice. Although free will isn't completely an illusion—otherwise, we would be entirely predetermined by fate—we only possess a small degree of freedom.
Recognizing the framework of self is especially challenging. We can easily point out the absurdity of other people’s beliefs, yet we often fail to see the ones we cling to ourselves. Just as a fish cannot understand or be aware of water until it is out of it, we struggle to grasp the framework that confines us because we are deeply ingrained in it. While the universe has endowed us with brains capable of brilliant ideas and inventions, we are also confined by the neurological functions of our brains. More often than not, we follow the brain's mechanisms unconsciously, reacting to external stimuli in a conditioned manner without much conscious thought involved.
If a person wears green glasses from birth, everything he sees will have a green tint. No matter how vividly others describe the colorful world, he will only see green and not realize their reality is tainted. Similarly, we all wear metaphorical colored glasses tinted by our culture, upbringing, knowledge, education, and personalities. We live in the same world yet experience vastly different realities, think differently, interpret events differently, and perceive the world differently. This divergence leads to varied emotions, experiences, and memories as we live in different worlds.
We are framed by cognitive frameworks that shape our thoughts and behaviors in particular ways. This self-framework influences our understanding of the world, creating unique personal experiences that reflect our inner reality. Just as If the only tool you have is a hammer, it is tempting to treat everything as if it were a nail." We interpret reality through our tinted lenses. These tinted lenses produce blind spots. Blind spots are tricky because we don’t know what we don’t know. We may not be aware of certain personality traits or be trapped in specific cognitive frameworks.
No one enjoys having a quick temper, lacking confidence, or being trapped in peculiar moods, just as no one enjoys an upset stomach. These traits often stem from childhood upbringing, genetic predispositions, or learned behaviors. Yet, we often think these traits are just "me" or intrinsic parts of our personality. Many of these characteristics are deeply ingrained and seemingly self-evident, like the sky being blue and the grass being green.
We become accustomed to our self-framework, thinking, “This is who I am,” which seems unquestionable, or becoming oblivious: “I am who I am. Don’t try to change me.” As a result, we dwell inside our own projections and create our internal reality, perceiving our behaviors and thoughts as indisputable and failing to recognize the limitations. Thus, recognizing and addressing these blind spots can help us achieve greater self-awareness and understanding, allowing us to break free from the constraints of our ingrained frameworks, and that’s what healing and awakening are all about.
Understanding your true nature is challenging and perplexing, but the answers lie within you. The process of healing and awakening involves peeling away the layers that obscure reality and your true self, dismantling the self-framework, and removing the obstructions that hinder our growth.
However, the challenge is that we often don't recognize these patterns unless we make a conscious effort to break free from the self-framework and have the courage to confront ourselves honestly. Once we do, we will realize its powerful grip and domination over us.
This brings us to the process of self-analysis. A great starting point is to address unwanted feelings by asking yourself, "Why do I have this feeling? Why am I anxious?" Take a step back and observe, like an ethologist who carefully studies emotional responses and thinking patterns. Why do I behave or respond in this particular way? Use emotions as clues and trace them back to their origins, uncovering the cause and effect and the underlying issues. By systematically examining and understanding these patterns, we can begin to dismantle the self-framework—slowly unraveling a tangled ball of yarn. This journey is not easy; it requires patience, honesty, and a willingness to confront the uncomfortable truths about ourselves.