Case Study: I'm a burden, I'm superfluous

Growing up in a large family, the financial stress on my parents was immense. They worked themselves to the bone, often saying things like, "We have to work day and night because there are so many of you to take care of. If it weren’t for the burden of supporting you, life would be so much easier." These words, spoken in the midst of paying school fees or struggling to cover living expenses, cut deep. I couldn’t help but feel like a burden of my parents, and a question began to take root in my mind: "If it’s such a struggle, why did you even bring me into this world?"

Every time I saw my parents worrying about money or heard them constantly fighting over it, it felt a painful twist in my heart. I became convinced that I was the source of their pain. This thought consumed me: "Why don’t I just disappear? Why was I even born? All I do is cause them suffering—I’m nothing but a burden."

This belief didn’t just strain my relationship with my parents—it is toxic to all my relationships. I started seeing the world through a lens of despair, feeling like I didn’t belong here, and everything around me seemed to crumble.

This is the story of a student who joined the course to confront these deep wounds. Through eye movement, she focuses on untangling the emotions tied to thoughts like "I’m superfluous," "I’m helpless," "I’m a burden to my parents," and "I don’t want to live." The sessions were intense, often bringing up overwhelming emotions.

“Something inexplicit yet profound changed within me after the session. My vision felt clearer, as if a heavy fog had lifted. The negativity that had gripped me for so long began to fade.” As she was reflecting on her journey, tears streamed down her face. “My mom and dad love me so much. They’ve carried the weight of my struggles silently, tolerating my ignorance and pain. A wave of guilt crashed over me as I thought about my father, who had passed away years ago. He loved me far more than I ever understood,” she then cried again, overwhelmed by the realization.

At that moment, we asked her, "Do you feel like your father is still with you?" she nodded, tears still falling, and replied, "Yes, I can feel him by my side, like he never left. I think he stayed because he couldn’t let go of me." We then guided her to speak to her father, she whispered, "Thank you, Dad, for loving me so deeply, for all your care and patience. I’m okay now—you don’t have to worry anymore. You can let go." As she repeated these words, “I felt a profound sense of peace, as if my father had finally found the release he needed.”

Two months later, she sent us a message: "I’ve reconciled with my parents. I reached out to my mom, and our relationship is finally starting to heal. My mom was so moved that she burst into tears and told my sister. My sister, thinking it was a scam, even called me to check. I can’t believe how much I’ve changed!"