Case Study: The Release of Deeply Buried Painful Emotions
As we deepen the healing process, you may start to notice things rising to the surface—hazy memories or realizations that distant events have had a much greater impact on you than you once thought. You might have believed you’d let go of “trivial” things, thinking, “It doesn’t bother me anymore” or “I can dismiss the feelings quickly.”
A good rule of thumb is this: if you’re not able to genuinely laugh or feel at ease about a particular memory or incident or recall those particular incidents as if you were an outsider, then those seemingly subtle, less obvious emotions are still buried beneath the surface, quietly influencing your thoughts and behaviors in ways you may not realize.
Thomas, a client in his late fifties, was working through some lingering emotions. When asked to identify the worst feeling he wanted to address, he revealed a strong resentment toward a college professor. During his college years, Thomas had been harshly criticized by this professor, an experience that left a deep emotional scar. Though the events were from decades ago, Thomas admitted that the anger and painful feelings remained. However, he initially dismissed these feelings as less important and said those were just distant memories. He could "let go" by simply shifting his focus away from those awful experiences.
As we began the eye movement exercise, just a few rounds in, Thomas suddenly burst into tears, crying loudly. Visibly embarrassed, he said, "I’m surprised and embarrassed by my outburst—I’ve never cried in front of anyone, not even my family." We congratulated him on releasing decades of bottled-up emotions, reassuring him there was nothing to be worried about. We reminded him that we, too, have shed many. Crying is a crucial part of the healing process, an indication of the release of emotions inside and self-acceptance.
Rather than allowing emotions to flow, suppressing them becomes an exercise in control, a practice in stoic endurance. Withholding tears and burying vulnerability may seem like strength, but beneath that mask of resilience, how much suffering must one endure to master the art of holding back tears and hiding away painful feelings?
As the exercise progressed, Thomas’ emotions continued to pour out, bringing a profound sense of relief. The painful memory that once gripped his heart so tightly began to loosen, and what had once caused him such anguish now seemed less significant. He smiled and said, “I didn’t realize just how deeply these past incidents had affected me and how much emotion had been buried inside all those years.”
Often, we don’t consciously suppress our feelings, yet emotions remain trapped within the mind and body, never fully released. Over time, life becomes weighed down by the accumulation of these unresolved, painful memories. Feeling powerless, depressed, or lost of compassion toward life. We tell ourselves we’re fine—until an unexpected wave of tears reveals the truth, showing us that more emotions are waiting to be released.