Is Ego Really the Problem?
In the realm of spirituality and healing, the term "ego" is often discussed. The concept of the ego provides a convenient framework for exploring and understanding our identity—encouraging us to let go of self-centeredness, selfishness, arrogance, and strong opinions. However, the ego is often labeled as inherently negative—insane, sinful, lustful, selfish, and greedy—and is frequently identified as the root of all problems. Consequently, the ego is treated as a demonic entity that must be crushed and demolished.
This perspective is reflected in various practices aimed at defeating the ego, such as meditation techniques designed to silence the incessant chatter of the monkey mind or doctrines stated to overcome egoic thoughts and feelings. The ego is viewed as a wild horse to be tamed, requiring a firm leash, strict discipline, and percepts to keep it in line.
Ego and Selves
Many spiritual practices view the ego as the earthly and inferior part of the self, seeking the higher Self as a guide. The ego is treated as a separate entity from the oneness of the self, dividing the self into the ego and the higher or divine Self with a capital "S." These practices condemn the ego for its negative facets while glorifying the perfection of the higher Self. However, denying the ego and trying to push it away leads to self-division.
Self-division is like having multiple persons living within us. Some practices focus on negotiating among different parts of ourselves—such as the higher self, inner child, loving self, dark side, or rational one—to find a balance. However, there is a foreseeable issue with this approach: How do you reconcile incompatible values and moral dilemmas? I might want to be a good child and listen to my parents, but I also want autonomy to be myself, leading to internal battles when these desires and expectations don’t align.
All parts of the self are inseparable and integral to the whole. This separation complicates the journey toward unity, wholeness, and completeness—the ultimate goals of healing and awakening. Instead of viewing the ego as an enemy to be defeated, it may be more beneficial to understand and integrate it as part of our complex human experience.
We may dislike parts of ourselves, such as selfishness, envy, hatred, or lack of confidence. While there’s no need to love or befriend these troubling aspects, we must accept that they are part of who we are. Instead of viewing the ego as an enemy to be defeated, it would be beneficial to understand it as part of our complex human experience.
Oneness and Wholeness
The goal of healing is not building a community to accommodate all the different parts but addressing our inner conflicts and resolving the conflicting feelings and thoughts. Instead of viewing different parts of ourselves as distinct personas, we should treat ourselves as one entity and return to unity and oneness.
Perhaps we sense, “I don’t like the envious part of myself.” Instead of forbidding ourselves from feeling envy or condemning ourselves for being envious, we should acknowledge and accept all aspects of ourselves. Let's take a step back and ask, “Why am I envious?” An answer might emerge, such as “I feel inferior or not good enough.”
Think of the brain as a computer and the self as software. We fix the bugs or make adjustments to allow the program to run smoother. We enter a meditative state, or altered state of consciousness, to “hack” the brain and change its thinking and behavioral patterns. We also use various healing techniques like eye movement to mitigate the negative emotional impact.
If anger is causing problems, we acknowledge and accept the angry part of us but then drill deeper by asking, “Why am I angry?” It could be that our personality gets irritated and impatient easily, and although we don’t want to be angry, we can’t help it. In that case, we can try eye movement or various healing techniques to dial down the intensity of the emotions. If it is a belief that people should act according to our views, then perhaps we need to drop that belief.
If there is an ego, we can let go of it by relinquishing rigid beliefs, shifting away from a self-centered point of view, and surrendering to the natural flow. Embrace the essence of life—let go of the tiller, stop trying to control life, and allow things to unfold naturally.
Immerse yourself in nature. Quiet the mind, relax into a meditative state, clear your thoughts, let everything go, and simply perceive and observe. Feel the magnificence of the starry night, the liveliness of flowing rivers, and the humbleness of the earth. Surrender completely to the mystery and greatness of the universe. At this moment, you may recognize your smallness, as insignificant as ants or dust, compared to the majesty of the cosmos, and be amused by human’s presumptuous ambition to dominate the world. You may also realize that you are not just a brain or body but part of the presence and oneness of the universe.