Let Emotions Be Your Guide
Emotions, though often painful, are invaluable clues to the underlying issues. Emotions don’t come out of thin air. The reasons behind them might not be clear—they could stem from personal beliefs, experiences, or unconscious conditioned responses. Nonetheless, let emotions guide you and point you to the root cause of your distress.
Emotions as Spectrum of Light
You might encounter individuals who take pride in their stoic demeanor, being tough and independent, and rarely shed a tear. However, this might be problematic as the emotions are not flowing naturally but are heavily repressed. In other words, the individual is not experiencing the full spectrum of emotions and feelings. Perhaps they learned to disregard certain emotions that are perceived as socially unacceptable or intolerable, inconvenient to recognize the vulnerable part of themselves.
However, to heal and become whole, it's essential to embrace the full spectrum of emotions, both positive and negative. By acknowledging our feelings, we gain valuable clues to uncover underlying issues. Why do we feel anxious or depressed? What are the root causes? By following the trail of emotional breadcrumbs and delving into our deeper feelings and thoughts, we may discover previously unnoticed sentiments like "I feel worthless" or "I thought I was strong and independent, but I wish I had a shoulder to lean on." This awareness of our emotions is the starting point for addressing and resolving the issues that hold us back.
Emotions are Indispensable
Emotions are akin to physical sensations like pain, itchiness, or a pleasant touch. Pain and itchiness are physical expressions, neither good nor bad in themselves; emotions and feelings are psychological expressions, similarly neutral. Lacking a sense of pain can lead to serious conditions, such as unawareness of fractured bones or worsening wounds. Likewise, being entirely free of fear or worry might prevent us from learning from our mistakes and being cautious about consequences. However, if thinking about boarding an airplane overwhelms you with anxiety concerning the enclosed environment or the height, it indicates an overly sensitive reaction that needs to be addressed.
Emotions originate within us; we cannot distance ourselves from them. Recognize and understand our emotions without denying them, but you don’t need to befriend or try to live peacefully with anger, anxiety, or depression. It's like asking you to live with a monstrous creature that harms you. The key is to navigate our emotional landscape and foster true healing. Explore why specific emotions or feelings exist and how to alleviate or manage them.
Extinguish the Emotional Fire
Intense emotions, whether it’s rage, depression, or anxiety, can be like sharp, deafening fire alarms, debilitating our capacity to function or think clearly. Yet, these emotions serve as warning signals. When a fire alarm goes off, you can’t ignore it. Otherwise, the fire might spread and cause further damage. We can’t extinguish the fire by stripping off the wires of the smoke detector. Similarly, numbing or distracting ourselves might temporarily ease the painful emotions, but it doesn’t fix the root cause of the fire.
While investigating the causes of emotional “wildfires,” we can use various techniques like eye movement to help extinguish these fires. It might sound unbelievable, but simple actions like repeatedly moving your eyes left and right can effectively reduce emotional distress. During this process, emotions and related memories or thoughts are brought to the conscious level, significantly reducing emotional impact.
Here are more details in the summary of the book “The Body Keeps the Score” and Eye Movement (EMDR): How Does Moving Your Eyes Heal You?
As the emotional fire torches intensely, you will find yourself busy firefighting, suffocated by the heat and smoke of your emotions. Perhaps overwhelmed by rage from an unjust incident or overly anxious situation, your thoughts may become clouded. However, eye movements can diminish the intensity of these negative emotions. As the flames of the emotional fire subside and the smoke clears, your mind is no longer consumed by the blaze, and you regain rationality, allowing you to navigate your actions with renewed clarity and effectiveness.